Category Archives: Blog Post

Pain

Pain

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Dear 3:00 a.m.

I can’t see you anymore, we need to break up. These nightly meetings are not working for me. Trust me it’s not you. You’re a good listener and always there for me.  It’s me, I have issues.  I know we’ve spent a lot of time together these last few weeks because of my arthritis pain. Let’s face it, my knees are shot. Nick turns 30 this year so I guess I need to stop saying I’m still carrying around a little extra baby weight. The years of being heavy have taken their toll. Living with chronic pain is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I find myself willing to do almost anything to find some relief. After the holiday’s I’ll be starting a new therapy where they give me an injection in each knee once a week for five weeks. It makes me cringe just to think about it but honestly I can’t wait. They say that long term pain changes your personality. It can cause depression and anxiety. I try every day not to let this happen but pain is a game changer.

You know my daughter in law Kate was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She is 25 years old and they have a 6 month old baby. I guess when you and I meet she is heavy on my mind too. I haven’t talked about it much with friends because just behind the words of speaking it out loud sit a flood gate of emotions that I can barely contain. I feel awful about the physical pain she is experiencing right now but what I can barely take however is the raw grief and devastating emotional pain she and Nick are experiencing as they try to wrap their heads around a future that will ever be different than the one they’d dreamed. That’s pain that I don’t have a pill for. That’s pain I’m not sure how to soothe.

The other day I was talking to a coworker about her daughter who has a serious medical condition. The sadness behind her eyes and the catch in her throat told me all I need to know about the pain she carries with her everywhere she goes. The girl who cut my hair last night really needed to talk about her divorce. It was two years ago and it seemed to still hurt a lot.

REM was right, everybody does hurt. Our trials shape us, storms make trees with deeper roots, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, yadda, yadda, yadda…I get all that but here’s the thing 3:00 a.m., I can deal with the pain. I have good drugs and I’ve been doing this a while. After all I would not nearly appreciate the good days if I didn’t have some dark days to compare them to. I will find a way to accept the things I don’t want to accept like the suffering of my loved ones. I’ll do the best I can to be there for my friends and listen when they need to share. I feel like I was put on this earth to help others. My circle of influence is small but it’s tight. What I cannot deal with, what I don’t want to unleash on my family, what you do not want to see is the complete and total mess I become when I am sleep deprived. So next time you see me tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable, do not feel it necessary to wake me. In fact, I’d appreciate it if you’d just pull up a seat and when your little buddy 5:00 a.m. gets here hit the snooze button for me would you?

Very sincerely,

Felicia

 

 

Spam Folder

Spam Folder

I haven’t updated my blog in forever.  The last few months have just gotten away from me.  I was sick over the summer with pneumonia. My mother had a major surgery and my dad was hospitalized for an illness. I made a major change in my work life.  There is a new grandbaby on the way. These aren’t excuses. Life just gets so busy.

Today was a fun family day. We had a picnic, played putt putt golf and stopped for ice cream on the way home. For the last hour or so I’ve been sitting on the couch catching up on some work email and creating the worlds most boring spreadsheet of network printers.  My husband is quietly snoozing away in his recliner with the Cowboys/Broncos game on. It’s kind of too late to take a nap so I figured I would clean out my Project Midlife Spam folder.  I get notification emails regularly saying I have a comment on one of my posts.  I would be flattered by the sheer volume of them but unfortunately most of them (Ok all of them) are junk.  Usually I just select all of them and click Delete because most of the time they are ads for Viagra or Levitra but today for some reason I actually started reading them. I swear I didn’t edit these…this is word for word. These are some of the email topics.

  • How to stop smoking weed for a job. (Good to know)
  • Oral antibiotics for dog ear infection. (Ok that’s random.)
  • Purchase Cialis on line boosts your popular bodily affair (I am so confused)
  • Are you earning good income on the internet? (Uhhh..NO)
  • I love the theatre. (Me too)
  • You’re the best. (Thank you, I needed that.)
  • How to properly use prohormones. (Good cause I don’t want to do it wrong.)
  • More than likely I’m going to bookmark your site. (Nice way to commit.)
  • Could you tell me my balance, please? (Do I look like Bank of America?)
  • You are BRILLIANT!!! (Finally someone gets me.)
  • It is so hard at times, or expensive to find the blue jars. (You’re drunk.)
  • Unquestionably believe that which you said. (As you should)
  •  Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! (Care to explain?)
  • For hundreds of thousands of people like me internet is the major source of income. (Nobody likes you.)
  • Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? (How about we put it in MY account.)
  • How to cure psychological impotence diabetes in young men? (Do I really need to know this?)
  • I love smoking cigarettes but i want to quit stop. (Good luck with that)
  • You can run but you can’t hide. (Ha ha ha, I can’t run you idiot)
  • Very good, i like you.And say and say ………. It’s greatttttttttttt…….. (Thank you Tony the Tiger)
  • Other countries censor content and not just rogue regimes such as the Iranian mullocracy (Seriously?)
  • There’s just something special about homemade cookies, especially chocolate chip cookies, so far as I’m concerned. (Preach)
  • Thanks for being very thoughtful as well as for making a choice on this kind of incredibly good information most people are really wanting to be aware of. (*Blushing* You are very welcome.)

 

So that’s where all my fan mail ended up.

I promise not to be gone so long next time….

Gotta go…just got an email telling me how to earn $2,543 a day….I’m gonna be RICH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Customer Service

Customer Service

We live right around the corner from Walmart. Unfortunately we find ourselves there way more than we should be.  We don’t particularly love the place; it’s just so darn convenient.

Recently however my husband needed to purchase something at Target so bright and early on Saturday morning we ran over there.  He won’t like that I’m revealing this but it’s a crucial detail in my story so I have to be honest – he was buying underwear, well boxers and I guess they qualify as underwear.  They certainly aren’t underpants.  I learned that by the reaction I got as we walked through the door at Target and I said “Let’s go find you some underpants.” 

We were happy to discover that the ones he was after were on sale. There was a big huge sign hanging over them that said 4 for $20 or $5.99 each.  (Note to self: Always take a picture of the sign.)  I love to save money so this was a no brainer.  My darling husband (sorry about the underpants remark honey) picked out his four pair and we headed up to the register. That is all we needed so we assumed we’d be out of there quick.  I should have known it would not be that easy.  Nothing is ever that easy.

Cashier: Hello

Me: Good morning, how are you?

Cashier: Well it must be a good morning since I’m wearing pants.

Me: (awkward silence while my brain tries to process what he just said)

Meanwhile my husband was blissfully unaware of this conversation because he had gone past the end of the check out and was looking at the Starbucks trying to decide if he wanted to pay $7 for a cup of coffee.

The weird cashier rang up our four pair of boxers, hit the total button and said “That will be $26.97”

Wait, what?  That is not what they should be.  The minute I said “that isn’t right” the guy behind us with one item switched registers like I’d just skunk stunk the place up.  He moved so fast I couldn’t identify him in a line up.

Me: That’s not right; they are on sale 4 for $20

Cashier: So do you still want them?

Me: (Inside my head) Are you freaking kidding me?

Me:  Yes I still want them but I want them at the right price.

Cashier:  (Deep sigh, dramatic eye roll) I’ll have to get a manager.

Me: Ok

He must think that will dissuade me.  You don’t know me pants boy.

What the hell happened to customer service in this country? Why do they act like I’m the one who did something wrong?  I know the customer isn’t always right but how about at least acting like you care if you even make this sale.

The manager came over and Slacker Number One explained to him our situation.  Without even making eye contact with me he got on his walkie talkie and dialed up someone in the men’s departments.

Manager: Are there boxers on sale?

Radio Girl: Which ones?

Manager looks at Dumbbell who proceeds to dig them out of the bag.

Manager: Merona

Radio Girl:  Yes, the men’s Merona single pack novelty boxers are on sale 4 for $20.

Me: (Loudly to both of them) THANK YOU!

No response.

Manager: Are they novelty?

Cashier:  I guess.

Dude, they have little leprechauns holding mugs of beer.  ARE THEY NOVELTY? 

By this time my husband had wandered back to my side.  I kept my eye on him because in situations like this he has frequently said “Forget it; we’ll take our business elsewhere.”  I knew he was just one idiot remark away from blowing out of there.  I would have been glad to have joined him.

Long story short the manager put his magic code in the register and adjusted the price. I again thanked them both and again they both ignored me. 

Rude, rude, rude.  

In stark contrast to this experience, the next day we went to Savers, a local thrift store looking for dishes to take camping.  I had a 30% off coupon and when our teenage cashier rang it up the discount didn’t come off.  He apologized profusely and immediately called for help.  He was friendly and courteous the whole time we waited for someone to show him how to do it.  Then he thanked me for the opportunity to learn how to ring those coupons.

I want to find that boy’s mother and send her flowers.

Guess that’s what we get for being uppity and going down the road to buy our underwear. 

Yesterday we went to Walmart to get some camping gear.  I saw a pregnant teenager with a tramp stamp, a kid riding a bike up and down the aisles and there was a half eaten candy bar on the shelf in the cat food aisle.

Our people.

It feels good to be home.