Category Archives: Blog Post

When the world is on fire you make biscuits.

When the world is on fire you make biscuits.

Has it really been two years since I posted here? Wow. I guess a global pandemic, an attack on the US Capital, a contested election, a racial reckoning, the loss of my beloved step father, the loss of so many American lives to disease, violence, terrorism and war, has had me a little distracted huh? What’s sad is this list is incomplete.

When I got the notice from Go Daddy to renew my domain I seriously thought about letting it go, but my wiser self decided to pay the $18 and give myself the year to think about it. It’s not that I think anyone is dying to read what I write but someday I’ll be gone and this blog was started as a gift to my grandchildren. It’s for and because of them, that I sit here on this unseasonably warm Sunday September morning trying to decide what to share with you, and what you’re going to get is biscuits. Yes, biscuits. See here’s the thing. In the last eighteen months, I didn’t learn a new language, build a new deck, take up a keto diet, redecorate my entire house or any of the other ridiculously productive things other people did in quarantine. What I did do is learn to bake a really good biscuit. There was a lot of trial and error involved. There was research. There was eating of the victories and failures because let’s be realistic, with a enough butter and jam even a less than perfect biscuit is edible and I grew up in a “waste not want not” home. As I got better at it, I posted some pictures on Facebook and every time the comments said “Share your recipe!” “They look delicious.” “I want some!” “You know those are full of carbs and will go straight to your ass right?” Ok, that last one was my own but you get the point. I’ve been a life long baker but until I took this on as project, I hadn’t had much success making a biscuit that didn’t resemble by look or texture a hockey puck or a very unappealing looking dog treat. With much practice I can say I make a pretty damn good biscuit these days. Here’s how I make them. You don’t have to make them yourself. No pressure. Do what you want. I am sharing because I’m proud of these babies and these days, with so much sadness, divisiveness, and fear everywhere it’s nice to have this little thing that makes me feel good about myself.


Preheat oven to 400. Put some parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Put a big piece of parchment on the counter.

Wash your hands. (Hey, I assume nothing)

  • 2 1/2 C flour
  • 1 TBS baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 C (one stick) very cold or frozen butter (If you use salted butter, decrease the salt to 1/4 tsp)
  • 1 C milk or buttermilk
  • cream to brush on tops

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl and mix well with a fork. Here’s where it gets really fun. Use a box grater and grate the butter in to the dry ingredients. Work quick so it doesn’t get soft. I use a frozen stick of butter for this. Once you’ve shredded up all the butter, stir it in with the fork . It resembles little “pebbles” in your dry ingredients.

Add your milk and stir with the fork. It is still kind of sticky but dump that whole mess on the parchment paper.

Start shaping your dough in to a rectangle like about the size of an 8×10 picture frame. If it’s too sticky to handle sprinkle a little flour on it but not too much. If you use too much flour, the biscuits will be dry. Once you make your rectangle, fold it in half, and then half again. This is called laminating. This is what gives you layers. Don’t handle the dough any more than necessary. You don’t want to melt the butter.

Do this folding over thing three times. Then gently shape into either a rectangle or circle depending on what shape you want your biscuits. When we make sausage gravy I cut them in to 9 squares. Today we were making sausage patties so I cut 8 circles with a biscuit cutter. When doing a round biscuit, cut as many as you can then take the scraps, reform them and cut more until all your dough is used up. It’s normal to have a rough looking last biscuit. She may not be much to look at but she’s got a great personality.

Biscuits like to be near each other so place them fairly close on your pan. I use a cookie sheet with parchment paper. If you don’t regularly use parchment paper go to the store and buy it now. Buy two. It will be life changing. Brush the tops with melted butter or cream. I use half and half because that’s what I usually have on hand.

Bake 13 to 16 minutes. Do not be tempted to open the oven and check on them. They need all that good hot heat to stay in the oven. At 13 minutes you can start checking on them. Take them out when the tops and the bottoms are brown and beautiful.

Can we take a minute to admire how lovely these are? (final Jeopardy song plays)

Cook up some sausage, fry an egg and put this bad boy together. This is the point where I handed one to my husband who said “I don’t think I can fit that in my mouth” to which I said “That’s what she said.” and it devolved from there. We’re dumb, but breakfast was delicious this morning!

Note: You can make a sweet version of these by increasing the sugar to 2 TBS and sprinkle the tops with sugar after brushing with cream. Macerate some strawberries and grab some whip cream and you have a killer strawberry shortcake.

I’ll try not to take two years to post again.

Cinnamon rolls I am coming for you….







Dear 3:00 a.m.

I can’t see you anymore, we need to break up. These nightly meetings are not working for me. Trust me it’s not you. You’re a good listener and always there for me.  It’s me, I have issues.  I know we’ve spent a lot of time together these last few weeks because of my arthritis pain. Let’s face it, my knees are shot. Nick turns 30 this year so I guess I need to stop saying I’m still carrying around a little extra baby weight. The years of being heavy have taken their toll. Living with chronic pain is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I find myself willing to do almost anything to find some relief. After the holiday’s I’ll be starting a new therapy where they give me an injection in each knee once a week for five weeks. It makes me cringe just to think about it but honestly I can’t wait. They say that long term pain changes your personality. It can cause depression and anxiety. I try every day not to let this happen but pain is a game changer.

You know my daughter in law Kate was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She is 25 years old and they have a 6 month old baby. I guess when you and I meet she is heavy on my mind too. I haven’t talked about it much with friends because just behind the words of speaking it out loud sit a flood gate of emotions that I can barely contain. I feel awful about the physical pain she is experiencing right now but what I can barely take however is the raw grief and devastating emotional pain she and Nick are experiencing as they try to wrap their heads around a future that will ever be different than the one they’d dreamed. That’s pain that I don’t have a pill for. That’s pain I’m not sure how to soothe.

The other day I was talking to a coworker about her daughter who has a serious medical condition. The sadness behind her eyes and the catch in her throat told me all I need to know about the pain she carries with her everywhere she goes. The girl who cut my hair last night really needed to talk about her divorce. It was two years ago and it seemed to still hurt a lot.

REM was right, everybody does hurt. Our trials shape us, storms make trees with deeper roots, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, yadda, yadda, yadda…I get all that but here’s the thing 3:00 a.m., I can deal with the pain. I have good drugs and I’ve been doing this a while. After all I would not nearly appreciate the good days if I didn’t have some dark days to compare them to. I will find a way to accept the things I don’t want to accept like the suffering of my loved ones. I’ll do the best I can to be there for my friends and listen when they need to share. I feel like I was put on this earth to help others. My circle of influence is small but it’s tight. What I cannot deal with, what I don’t want to unleash on my family, what you do not want to see is the complete and total mess I become when I am sleep deprived. So next time you see me tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable, do not feel it necessary to wake me. In fact, I’d appreciate it if you’d just pull up a seat and when your little buddy 5:00 a.m. gets here hit the snooze button for me would you?





Spam Folder

Spam Folder

I haven’t updated my blog in forever.  The last few months have just gotten away from me.  I was sick over the summer with pneumonia. My mother had a major surgery and my dad was hospitalized for an illness. I made a major change in my work life.  There is a new grandbaby on the way. These aren’t excuses. Life just gets so busy.

Today was a fun family day. We had a picnic, played putt putt golf and stopped for ice cream on the way home. For the last hour or so I’ve been sitting on the couch catching up on some work email and creating the worlds most boring spreadsheet of network printers.  My husband is quietly snoozing away in his recliner with the Cowboys/Broncos game on. It’s kind of too late to take a nap so I figured I would clean out my Project Midlife Spam folder.  I get notification emails regularly saying I have a comment on one of my posts.  I would be flattered by the sheer volume of them but unfortunately most of them (Ok all of them) are junk.  Usually I just select all of them and click Delete because most of the time they are ads for Viagra or Levitra but today for some reason I actually started reading them. I swear I didn’t edit these…this is word for word. These are some of the email topics.

  • How to stop smoking weed for a job. (Good to know)
  • Oral antibiotics for dog ear infection. (Ok that’s random.)
  • Purchase Cialis on line boosts your popular bodily affair (I am so confused)
  • Are you earning good income on the internet? (Uhhh..NO)
  • I love the theatre. (Me too)
  • You’re the best. (Thank you, I needed that.)
  • How to properly use prohormones. (Good cause I don’t want to do it wrong.)
  • More than likely I’m going to bookmark your site. (Nice way to commit.)
  • Could you tell me my balance, please? (Do I look like Bank of America?)
  • You are BRILLIANT!!! (Finally someone gets me.)
  • It is so hard at times, or expensive to find the blue jars. (You’re drunk.)
  • Unquestionably believe that which you said. (As you should)
  •  Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! (Care to explain?)
  • For hundreds of thousands of people like me internet is the major source of income. (Nobody likes you.)
  • Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? (How about we put it in MY account.)
  • How to cure psychological impotence diabetes in young men? (Do I really need to know this?)
  • I love smoking cigarettes but i want to quit stop. (Good luck with that)
  • You can run but you can’t hide. (Ha ha ha, I can’t run you idiot)
  • Very good, i like you.And say and say ………. It’s greatttttttttttt…….. (Thank you Tony the Tiger)
  • Other countries censor content and not just rogue regimes such as the Iranian mullocracy (Seriously?)
  • There’s just something special about homemade cookies, especially chocolate chip cookies, so far as I’m concerned. (Preach)
  • Thanks for being very thoughtful as well as for making a choice on this kind of incredibly good information most people are really wanting to be aware of. (*Blushing* You are very welcome.)


So that’s where all my fan mail ended up.

I promise not to be gone so long next time….

Gotta go…just got an email telling me how to earn $2,543 a day….I’m gonna be RICH!








Customer Service

Customer Service

We live right around the corner from Walmart. Unfortunately we find ourselves there way more than we should be.  We don’t particularly love the place; it’s just so darn convenient.

Recently however my husband needed to purchase something at Target so bright and early on Saturday morning we ran over there.  He won’t like that I’m revealing this but it’s a crucial detail in my story so I have to be honest – he was buying underwear, well boxers and I guess they qualify as underwear.  They certainly aren’t underpants.  I learned that by the reaction I got as we walked through the door at Target and I said “Let’s go find you some underpants.” 

We were happy to discover that the ones he was after were on sale. There was a big huge sign hanging over them that said 4 for $20 or $5.99 each.  (Note to self: Always take a picture of the sign.)  I love to save money so this was a no brainer.  My darling husband (sorry about the underpants remark honey) picked out his four pair and we headed up to the register. That is all we needed so we assumed we’d be out of there quick.  I should have known it would not be that easy.  Nothing is ever that easy.

Cashier: Hello

Me: Good morning, how are you?

Cashier: Well it must be a good morning since I’m wearing pants.

Me: (awkward silence while my brain tries to process what he just said)

Meanwhile my husband was blissfully unaware of this conversation because he had gone past the end of the check out and was looking at the Starbucks trying to decide if he wanted to pay $7 for a cup of coffee.

The weird cashier rang up our four pair of boxers, hit the total button and said “That will be $26.97”

Wait, what?  That is not what they should be.  The minute I said “that isn’t right” the guy behind us with one item switched registers like I’d just skunk stunk the place up.  He moved so fast I couldn’t identify him in a line up.

Me: That’s not right; they are on sale 4 for $20

Cashier: So do you still want them?

Me: (Inside my head) Are you freaking kidding me?

Me:  Yes I still want them but I want them at the right price.

Cashier:  (Deep sigh, dramatic eye roll) I’ll have to get a manager.

Me: Ok

He must think that will dissuade me.  You don’t know me pants boy.

What the hell happened to customer service in this country? Why do they act like I’m the one who did something wrong?  I know the customer isn’t always right but how about at least acting like you care if you even make this sale.

The manager came over and Slacker Number One explained to him our situation.  Without even making eye contact with me he got on his walkie talkie and dialed up someone in the men’s departments.

Manager: Are there boxers on sale?

Radio Girl: Which ones?

Manager looks at Dumbbell who proceeds to dig them out of the bag.

Manager: Merona

Radio Girl:  Yes, the men’s Merona single pack novelty boxers are on sale 4 for $20.

Me: (Loudly to both of them) THANK YOU!

No response.

Manager: Are they novelty?

Cashier:  I guess.

Dude, they have little leprechauns holding mugs of beer.  ARE THEY NOVELTY? 

By this time my husband had wandered back to my side.  I kept my eye on him because in situations like this he has frequently said “Forget it; we’ll take our business elsewhere.”  I knew he was just one idiot remark away from blowing out of there.  I would have been glad to have joined him.

Long story short the manager put his magic code in the register and adjusted the price. I again thanked them both and again they both ignored me. 

Rude, rude, rude.  

In stark contrast to this experience, the next day we went to Savers, a local thrift store looking for dishes to take camping.  I had a 30% off coupon and when our teenage cashier rang it up the discount didn’t come off.  He apologized profusely and immediately called for help.  He was friendly and courteous the whole time we waited for someone to show him how to do it.  Then he thanked me for the opportunity to learn how to ring those coupons.

I want to find that boy’s mother and send her flowers.

Guess that’s what we get for being uppity and going down the road to buy our underwear. 

Yesterday we went to Walmart to get some camping gear.  I saw a pregnant teenager with a tramp stamp, a kid riding a bike up and down the aisles and there was a half eaten candy bar on the shelf in the cat food aisle.

Our people.

It feels good to be home.