We've all heard the saying “A son is a son til he takes a wife; a daughter’s a daughter the rest of her life.” As the mother of two sons I have issues with this statement and now that my oldest is engaged to be married I like it even less. It’s true that my daughter and I remain very close and in fact having the shared experiences of being a wife and mother may have made us even closer. But who says I can’t stay close to my boys too? Why is a man supposed to only have room in his life for his wife? Doesn’t whoever wrote this understand that my sons wouldn’t be who they are today if it weren't for their mother? I didn’t pour my heart and soul in to these boys only to see them on holidays and at the occasional family gathering. I pray my sons’ future wives will see me as friend not foe.
Engaged to be Married.
I don’t worry about Alex. Everyone knows he is a Mamma’s boy and the youngest. He even refers to himself as my baby. As in, “You would never kick me out of the house, I’m your baby.” (Future writings will reveal that he was oh so wrong!) His girlfriend and I feel like team mates on some special project called “Operation Alex.” Working together she and I might be able to slap him in to something that resembles an adult some day.
Things are different with Nick. I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like and the last few years there has been a bit of a distance between us. It’s nothing deliberate on either of our parts. He’s just all grown up and off living his life. Sure we had some rough spots when he was a teenager but who hasn’t? I’d love to see him more often but we both rest easy in the knowledge that our love for one another is infinite.
He has been in a very committed and all consuming relationship for the last three years. I told him a few months ago that if he planned on getting engaged I would appreciate the courtesy of knowing about it ahead of time. I didn’t want to get a text message from his girlfriend (the usual method of news delivery) informing me that he had proposed. So a few weeks ago he asked me to lunch and told me he had the ring and he was going to ask. It’s hard to describe how I felt. We love Katelyn and they are a good match but I also really miss the little boy he once was. I asked him if he was happy and his response was “yeah, I really am.” What else can I ask for? Isn't that what we wish for our kids when we are knee deep in raising them? He knows it’s not going to be easy. Their situation is fraught with special circumstances. The last three years haven’t been easy but he is going in to this with his eyes wide open. Marriage is hard work and he has seen me fail at it with his dad. It takes commitment, dedication and sacrifice, but if anyone is loyal and loving enough to make it work, that would be my Nick. Congratulations Son. You got this.